Happy One Year Anniversary To Me!

Hi Guys,

I wanted to take some time out to acknowledge one full year of marriage and my first Wedding Anniversary on the blog! It has been one hell of a ride thus far, with much more road ahead. So much has changed yet so many things have stayed the same. Going into my marriage, I anticipated little difference having already been together for so long, (over a decade). However, I was mistaken on a few things and wanted to share a bit of my learnings from the past year. Take a look below at my top 10 findings in no particular order:

1. The first thing that I noticed is that all of a sudden your relationship just seems so much more “Legit”, this feeling creeps up on you in a very unassuming way, and unexpectedly you feel such a depth of responsibility towards the other person. This is certainly not a bad thing and it’s not to say that your relationship wasn’t real before this point; but after marriage, it’s just different. This person has legal papers on you that says “I am yours and You are mine”. You’re actually someone’s wife! HOLY SHIT!!!
2. As such, there are slight things that begin to change over time, like the frequency of courtesy check-ins; hanging out late with friends, the overall respect becomes even more solid because this person is no longer just your boyfriend, they are your chosen life partner. Things that were no real big deal in the past, are acknowledged with more sincerity and kindness to show respect and appreciation for one another.
3. You realize that SOCKS everywhere and shaved facial hair on the sink are really annoying and you’ll probably want to strangle this person a little more often than you did before.
4. You start to develop your own rules of what you want your marriage to be, a LOT of listening and talking about growing together and sort of creating a blueprint for both the present and the future. This is an ever-growing and changing thing but keeping the conversation and your ideas open is key.
5. If at all possible, get two separate bathrooms. In fact, JUST DO IT. You will find this to be a life saver and a peacemaker which brings calm into your household.
6. If you work full time, get a maid to come in, it helps things dramatically. Not everyday of course but once every two weeks depending on the size of your home. It is a great luxury to have (even before you get married actually). Not having to be responsible for all “chores” allows both parties to focus what little time they may have on each other. This helps to keep you both in lock step, not only with each other but your life goals.
7. Keep the romance alive! Don’t rest on your laurels, just because you’ve both won the prize. Relationships take work and not everyday will be an “I love my husband” day, but it should still be an “I love my life day”. Take the time to go on trips and keep your curiosities and new experiences alive together, this alone will take you a long way. Relationships aren’t 50-50, it’s both parties giving 100% every day, and this is no easy feat. So if one person ever falls short you pick up the rest of the way.
8. Take time for yourself! This is probably the BEST advice that I can give! I see a lot of people lose themselves when they get married, they become extremely immersed in their partner, wiping away any trace of the life they had before marriage! Do me a favor, Don’t Do This! Your husband married you because of who you were and not for who you’d become as his wife. I believe a healthy marriage has a great dose of both “oneness/togetherness” and “individuality”, not one without the other. My husband is my absolute BEST friend, I would say that after a year of meeting him he became that special to me, and while I enjoy spending the majority of my time with him. I CRAVE my intimate space both within the home and outside of it, and for that matter so does he. We both encourage it and I think it has added to not only our friendship but our marriage as well.
9. It will always feel weird saying “My husband”, at least for the first year but you start to get used to it.
10. Never go to bed angry, this is one of my top 5 rules. Communication is key, if something is bothering you, Spit. It. Out. (Tew)! Do not let it fester and become a mountain when it started as a mole. Be vocal and honest, you cannot be upset with your significant other for not knowing what you are thinking when you don’t share it. He/she does not live in your head so speak up, have an argument and then make-up. Don’t give an issue more than 24 hours of your time, it’s simply not worth it.

Other than that, there aren’t that many things that change EXCEPT… The CONSTANT and UNRELENTING question of When are you going to have kids? If I hear this question one more time, I will…. Everyone seems to be clocking my ovaries and wants us to have a kid… As such my husband gave me a wonderful anniversary gift which I think is the PERFECT answer to that question. “A drop top 2 seater” means no kids in the immediate future my darlings! It is just me and my hubby riding out together for a few more years!

For those that don’t follow-me on Instagram, here is the tribute that I gave to my husband. I hope that this was helpful to some. Feel free to share things that you have learned as I am always eager to take advice. A few more photos of my exciting ride after the jump.

I cannot claim to have a Perfect Life, because I am so far removed from any hint of perfection. My husband and I do not have the perfect marriage, in fact he drives me crazy most days and I’m certain he’ll say the same about me if asked. However, in our habitually flawed existence we have the one thing that has remained strong for the past 13 years and that is the bond of friendship. He remains the coolest person I have ever met, bar none ( and I’ve met some pretty cool individuals). Friendship coupled with a profound respect for one another and continued trust are the glue that holds us together. Of Course none of this is possible without the grace God and as such he is the foundation of everything for us. On this day post our 1st anniversary, I’d like to say thank you to my husband for honoring our commitment to share a life together. Life is never easy and there have been many curve balls thrown our way, but together we’ve managed to side-step each one. We are such completely different individuals yet we are the same. You’re my Ace, the number one opinion I genuinely care to know. I’m incredibly happy I get to learn from you and to bug the hell out of you each day. Lastly, Thank You for continually making my Daddy proud of my choice in a Life partner. #DontSlip #HisGhostwillhauntyouifyoudo #JustKidding #luvYouuu